Meditation for Kids
Meditation and other calming techniques
Meditation, or the practice of self-awareness in body and mind, has been revered for thousands of years as a natural, accessible way to regulate our reaction to stress and manifest good health. When presented with any kind of threat, humans are hardwired to fight, take flight, or freeze. Designed to protect us, this response can at times be more problematic than the perceived threat. Meditation helps calm these reactions
Meditation, visualization, progressive muscle relaxation and tapping are all tools that a child can use to calm. They can alleviate stress and discomfort. These techniques are taught and practiced during non stressful situations then used regularly to self soothe. Children may find one technique more effective and use exclusively or may rely on several.
“Meditation“ may be as easy as counting to 10 and breathing or going to a “happy, safe place“. You may take your child through a visualization. You can simply sit in a calm environment and breathe together. Breathwork, mindfully breathing, allows your child's nervous system to calm. Diffusing calming essential oils and soothing music in the background may be helpful.
Learn to identify when your child is becoming overstimulated and try to help them to help themselves before they are tantruming or “losing it”. Know what situations or transitions may trigger discomfort. Plan for extra time to transition. Arrive early. Start getting ready early. Then work on calming techniques as needed during the process.
Meditation can help kids read and respond to internal signals of stress before their developing brains and bodies give in to a full-blown tantrum. The key is getting to know what your child needs to come back into balance and giving them the tools to practice.
Our children are often rushing from school to violin lessons, to sports, to ballet, to play dates. Add to the rush, a heavy dose of screen time between activities and the brain is overstimulated and constantly in overdrive. This affects cognitive functioning, behavior and mental health. It also affects their ability to turn it all off and rest.
Most kids have little relaxation time in their day. Quiet and stillness are necessary to allow the body to relax. The nervous system needs this time to calm down and recharge.
At least a few hours prior to sleep our brain needs the relaxed-but-alert frequency. Due to the lack of this transition time, more and more children are having sleep issues. If children are not sleeping well, their awake brain does not function as well.
Meditation can help both kids and adults find this inner calm. Within a few sessions, meditation often allows better sleep, reduced anxiety, improved self-esteem, improved ability to focus and study and reduced levels of stress
To teach your child these techniques it is helpful for the adult in charge to start their own practice for the child to model. Adapt meditation to your child's needs and preferences, which may change day to day. Some days a child may need a moving meditation. Other days it may be some deep breathing in stillness.
Before bed, guide your child to breath and relax all body parts moving from head to toe. Get in the habit of reading and then relaxation before bed. After the book, take them through a calming and soothing tale of walking by the ocean or the beauty in the woods or the scene from the top of a mountain.
Mindful movement may be walking while taking in and releasing long breaths and raising and lowering the arms 10 times. It can be a simple yoga flow with focus on the breath during the movement. It can be dancing to soothing, soulful music emphasizing breathing.
It is not uncommon for toddlers and young children who are otherwise well to complain of aches and pains like stomach aches or headaches that do not seem to be associated with an illness or any other physical manifestations. These can often be related to anxiety, stress or fear. Instead of dismissing the symptom or getting overly concerned, try some meditation techniques.
Have the child breathe into the area of discomfort or unpleasant feelings. Often the acknowledgment combined with taking a moment to stop and relax will improve the symptoms. Your child is training the brain to recognize the issue and respond with a practice that brings their body back into balance. If your child is displaying aches and pains that become persistent and are affecting their energy and quality of life or associated with other symptoms such as weight loss, consult your provider.
Meditative music and recorded meditations can have a profoundly calming effect on kids. Chanting or listening to gongs may be soothing. Tibetan singing bowls vibrate on frequencies said to restore and heal parts of the body that are out of balance. Recordings of nature sounds bring children calm and peace. Children with sensory integration issues such as those with autism spectrum disorder, often respond well to tones, chanting and music.
There are web-based meditations and music resources that may be helpful. “Insight Timer” online, “Mindful Kids” on youtube and “Stop breathe and think” app are a few. Explore resources and add what is useful to your tool box.
Relaxation Revolution by Herbert Benson, MD
Introduce your child to calming techniques. Help them identify when they may use them. When they are experiencing distress allow them to recognize the negative feeling that is driving the behavior. Give them the skills to self soothe.
When they are young, these practices will be guided by you. As children get older these are great resources for them to access on their own. Create a routine that incorporates meditative practices. Practice them regularly to maintain the peace and calm.
Despite the tremendous shadow of the pandemic, the light in many families' lives was this gift of slowing down. It created more family time with a greater ability of establishing a quieter, more contemplative life. As we transition back into more activity, strive for a more balanced approach.
The following are brief outlines of the visualization, progressive muscle relaxation and tapping techniques. For more thorough information there are therapists who may work with your family practicing these methods. There are also online courses and instructional videos.
Tapping Therapy is a tool that may help your child quickly rebalance their energy and treat emotional and physical pain. Though still being researched, tapping has been used to treat people with anxiety and people with PTSD. Tapping therapy was developed by clinical psychologist Dr. Roger Callahan. It’s also referred to as psychological acupressure.
Prior to tapping, you need to establish what you’re trying to address. It must focus on two main goals:
acknowledging the issues
accepting yourself despite the problem
You develop a phrase that is in this format: “Even though I have this [the issue-fear or problem], I deeply and completely accept myself.” Repeat this 3 times then begin tapping the below points in order while reciting the reminder phrase at each tapping point to maintain focus on your problem area.
eyebrow
side of the eye
under the eye
under the nose
chin
beginning of the collarbone
under the arm
Repeat this sequence two or three times. You may use this regularly everyday or have it as a resource when problems arise. There are various online videos that demonstrate this technique.
Tense-and-release muscle contractions or progressive muscle relaxation techniques are used as a quick calming method.
Breathe in, and tense the first muscle group (hard but not to the point of pain or cramping) for 4 to 10 seconds.
Breathe out, and suddenly and completely relax the muscle group (do not relax it gradually).
Relax for 10 to 20 seconds before you work on the next muscle group.
Visualization is another powerful technique that can help your child unwind and relieve stress. Visualization involves using mental imagery to achieve a more relaxed state of mind. Visualization is accomplished through the use of imagination. If practiced regularly under non stressful situations it may be utilized during a stressful situation for calming.
Experiment with the different techniques and see which is most effective for you and your child. Giving your child the opportunity to learn self soothing will allow self regulation. Early introduction of these skills is a gift.
